Raising Self-Reliant Children

Self-reliant kidsSometimes, parents wonder why their children misbehave and what can be done about it. Most misbehaviour can be traced to a lack of development of perceptions and skills that are necessary for developing capable people. Most behaviour problems can be eliminated when parents and teachers learn more effective ways to help their children develop these perceptions and skills (below).


Significant Seven Perceptions and Skills

  1. Strong perceptions of personal capabilities – “I am capable.”
  2. Strong perceptions of significance in primary relationships – “I contribute in meaningful ways and I am genuinely needed.”
  3. Strong perceptions of personal power or influence over life – “I can influence what happens to me.”
  4. Strong intrapersonal skills: the ability to understand personal emotions and to use that understanding to develop self-discipline and self-control.
  5. Strong interpersonal skills: the ability to work with others and develop friendships through communicating, cooperating, negotiating, sharing, empathizing and listening.
  6. Strong systemic skills: the ability to respond to the limits and consequences of everyday life with responsibility, adaptability, flexibility, and integrity.
  7. Strong judgmental skills: the ability to use wisdom and to evaluate situations according to appropriate values.

from: H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelson, Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (New York: Three Rivers Press, 2000).

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